Learn the Game: Golf, Access, and the Rooms You Think You Don’t Belong In

I’m a Chinese-American woman who immigrated to the United States in 2000.

I had to learn English.

Later, I learned something else that turned out to be surprisingly useful:

Golf.

I’ve worked at three golf courses—Tustin Ranch, Dove Canyon, and Marbella. Recently, I even won the under-40 putting contest at a Newport Beach Chamber event and walked away with a round at Pelican Hill.

Yes, I’m bragging a little.

But there’s a bigger reason I care about golf.

Golf taught me something about access.

Golf Is More Than a Sport

People joke that golf is an old white man’s game.

Okay.

Then learn it.

If certain industries, relationships, conversations, and opportunities are happening on golf courses, why voluntarily exclude yourself from them?

This applies especially to women, minorities, immigrants, first-generation professionals, and anyone else who walks into a room and immediately wonders:

“Am I supposed to be here?”

My answer is increasingly:

Who decided you weren’t?

Sometimes the fastest way to expand your life is simply to enter environments you haven’t experienced before.

Take the golf lesson.

Attend the business event.

Visit the country club.

Learn AI.

Understand finance.

Learn accounting.

Walk into the room.

You don’t have to become somebody else. You are simply expanding the number of environments in which you know how to operate.

Don’t Confuse Discomfort With Danger

Years ago, I attended a dinner at a yacht club in Orange County.

The event was publicly advertised. I paid the approximately $50 admission and showed up.

At some point, a man said something to me along the lines of:

“You know you don’t belong here, right?”

That comment stayed with me much longer than it should have.

I wasn’t from a yacht-club family. I didn’t grow up around that world. And because I didn’t have much context, one person’s behavior started shaping my opinion of the entire environment.

Looking back, I think I gave that person too much power.

Maybe that club wasn’t for me.

Fine.

There are other clubs.

Maybe one person didn’t want me there.

Fine.

There are millions of other people in the world.

One uncomfortable experience shouldn’t determine the boundaries of your life.

Sometimes You Need to Stay in the Room

I’ve also learned something important from difficult conversations.

When somebody tells you about an experience involving race, gender, culture, class, religion, or identity, you don’t necessarily have to agree with every conclusion they draw.

But sometimes it is worth simply staying in the room.

Listen.

Ask questions.

Get curious.

Every one of us has blind spots because every one of us has only lived one life.

I know what it feels like to move through America as me. I don’t know what it feels like to move through America as somebody else.

And somebody else doesn’t know exactly what my experience feels like either.

That’s why diverse relationships matter—not because everyone needs to think alike, but because people who are different from you can see things you cannot see.

If everyone around you has the same background, worldview, social circle, and experiences, your network may be comfortable—but it may also contain enormous blind spots.

Understand the System—and Then Decide What to Do With It

The world is not perfectly fair.

That’s hardly breaking news.

There are historical inequalities. There are biases. There are old boys’ clubs. There are advantages some people inherit and others don’t.

But recognizing those things is only step one.

Eventually I have to ask:

What am I going to do with that information?

I can spend my entire life cataloging the ways the game is unfair.

Or I can learn how the game works.

Better yet, I can build a new game.

If golf has historically been dominated by men, women can learn golf.

If technology is creating enormous economic opportunities, learn technology.

If AI is changing business, learn AI.

If wealthy people congregate in certain places, become curious about those environments.

If an existing organization genuinely doesn’t want you, maybe the answer isn’t spending years begging for admission.

Build your own.

That’s entrepreneurship.

Your Environment Changes You

One of my teachers once made an observation that stayed with me.

She noticed that students from different racial backgrounds often separated themselves socially—but among affluent students, those divisions sometimes seemed less pronounced because they shared another identity: socioeconomic status.

I don’t think money magically eliminates prejudice. It doesn’t.

But the observation taught me something broader:

Shared goals can sometimes become stronger than the categories separating us.

Business does this.

Sports do this.

Entrepreneurship does this.

Building something together does this.

That’s part of why I’m interested in rooms where ambitious people gather.

If you want to become wealthy, spend some time understanding people who successfully create wealth.

If you want to become an entrepreneur, surround yourself with builders.

If you want to become technically capable, spend time with engineers.

Your environment quietly teaches you what is normal.

Choose your normal carefully.

Access Without Discernment Is Not the Goal

There is another side to this.

I don’t believe you should desperately chase every exclusive room just because powerful people are inside it.

Access isn’t the ultimate goal.

Discernment is.

Ask yourself:

Are these people responsible?

Do they keep their commitments?

When something goes wrong, do they take responsibility—or immediately blame someone else?

Do they build people up?

Do they operate with integrity?

Do you actually want to become more like them?

Getting into the room means very little if it’s the wrong room.

The goal isn’t proximity to status.

The goal is proximity to people, knowledge, opportunities, and environments that help you become who you are capable of becoming.

You Can Be the Person Who Changes the Room

Maybe golf has historically looked like an old white man’s sport.

Then make it an Asian woman’s sport.

Make it a Black woman’s sport.

Make it a Latina entrepreneur’s sport.

Make it a first-generation immigrant’s sport.

You don’t have to destroy the room to change the room.

Sometimes you simply have to enter it.

And sometimes after entering it, you realize:

I can build something better.

That’s been one of the biggest lessons of my entrepreneurial journey.

Not every room is meant for me.

Not every invitation deserves a yes.

Not every rejection deserves my energy.

But I also refuse to reject myself before anybody else gets the opportunity.

Create Your Own Unfair Advantage

Legacy Launcher Labs is ultimately about exactly that.

Creating access.

Learning things you weren’t taught.

Meeting people outside your usual circles.

Trying technology that initially intimidates you.

Building the website.

Launching the company.

Recording the podcast.

Learning golf.

Entering the room.

And eventually, creating rooms of your own.

The world may never become perfectly fair.

But you can become more capable.

You can become more connected.

You can become more discerning.

You can become harder to exclude.

And you can create opportunities for the people coming behind you.

So if there’s a room you’ve been telling yourself you don’t belong in, maybe it’s time to reconsider.

Take the lesson.

Show up.

Stay curious.

Learn the game.

And if you discover that the existing game isn’t worth playing?

Build your own.

Learn more and build your legacy at LegacyLauncherLabs.com.